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The Truth About Being Fearless With Cancer

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Hate when people say "I'm not afraid of anything" cuz, like, have you seen things? They're terrifying. � MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) August 23, 2017 Several months ago, one of my old high school teachers emailed me to ask if I�d consider sharing my story with her moms' church group. (And by old I mean �former.� That woman hasn�t aged a minute. She�s lovely.) Her group had been focusing on the topic of �fearlessness in the face of adversity,� and she thought I might have, I don�t know, some insight on the subject. Which bwahahahaha omgggg nooooo. I am the opposite of fearless. I�m scared of at least 23 bajillion things. Also, I don�t do public-speaking. Not voluntarily. When I feel compelled to share something, I perch myself behind the comfortable security of a computer screen. I could hear the fraud police sounding their sirens. In a momentary lapse of judgement I wrote back, "Why yes, of course. I�d be happy to speak to your group." It took maybe four se...
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For Life's Not A Paragraph, And Death I Think Is No Parenthesis

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You know when you've put something off because it's unpleasant, and then it becomes harder and harder to bring yourself to do it, and then it snowballs into such an overwhelming task that you throw your hands up like "to heck with this!" and then you proceed to re-watch The Great British Baking Show  every night instead of writing? Just me? Oh. Well fine then. It's been four weeks since Paul died. And while I'm not ready to write about his death just yet, I can say that it was mostly peaceful, and we were with him the moment he drew his last breath. Saturday would have been our sixth wedding anniversary. Six good years, but not enough of them. People keep asking how I'm doing and my response is usually something along the lines of "I'm okay. That is, in this exact moment of time I'm okay. Ask me again in five minutes and I'll possibly be bawling into a bag of Doritos." I guess that's grief? This is all new terrain. I've never ...
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I'll Follow You Into The Dark

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"Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go.    Acceptance is a small, quiet room."   - Cheryl Strayed, Author of  Wild At this point, most of you have probably seen the latest update on Paul circulating through your Facebook news feeds. For everyone else, here's the scoop: In my last post, I mentioned that we were spending Easter with Paul's family in Wisconsin. But as our two-week visit approached its end, it became more and more evident that Paul wouldn't be making our return flight back to Buffalo. So the three of us are staying in Paul�s parents' home in Oshkosh, Wisconsin where he has entered Hospice care. We had always considered making Paul�s childhood home in Oshkosh his final resting place on this Earth. After witnessing his almost immediate "release" when the decision was final, I ca...
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