Online Chat Room

Are you on  twitter ? I've only been hanging out there since the summer. For months, I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I still feel like the gangly tween at the party, but I don't care because twitter is where all the hilarious, raucous kids hang out and it makes me feel like maybe I could sit at their lunch table and, I don't know, trade friendship bracelets or something. Basically, I swing by twitter when I need a laugh. Take these with a huge grain of salt. 15 Tweets That Will Make You Laugh If Your Life Is A Trainwreck: 1. Don't forget to pretend you're mentally stable today. � Jedi Cheesy Gifts (@JediGigi) January 7, 2014 2. *reluctantly signs reality check* *adds "lame" to memo line* � Alien Skier (@ClichedOut) September 27, 2017 3. i just heard a guy at the coffee shop say he was doing ok and thought whatever, quit gloating � silent schmox, holy schmox (@IvoryGazelle) October 5, 2017 4. Sometimes I find a random screw lying around my hous...

Remember when you were six, hanging off of the front of the grocery cart and your mom would hiss at you to " STOP STARING at that poor old man! It's rude! That'll happen to your teeth too, buster, if you can't learn to be polite so STOP.   IT. NOW. " I have become the old man in this scenario. What? Oh. Yes! I still have my teeth! Good heavens. What I mean is that, over the last several months, I've become the spectacle that draws kids' eyes in the grocery store. I am the oddity you tell your kids not to gawk at. Believe it or not, this was a hilarious revelation to me. Paul and I laugh about it all the time. Since I'm not super sensitive about being hairless , I find this harmless interaction almost flattering. I am bizarre enough that small children feel compelled to study me further! I have become interesting to kids! It's great because we've all been there - usually as either the flustered mum or the transfixed toddler, of course. But the...

Caillou is off-limits in our household. My sanity cannot allow it. If you've seen the show, you will appreciate this: Also, HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY FOLKS!!!

I warned you about these. I'm a mom. I think everything my kid does is publishable material. Also, I had chemo today, so I'm protecting you from what would essentially be an incoherent acid-trip-esque jumble of a post. Easier to just copy some sassy Ingrid quotes from my journal. Life is better this way. A few nights ago I was reading Ingrid a bedtime story. Mid-sentence, she clutches my thigh and blurts out with alarming enunciation: "You. Are. Fat." Paul is still stunned I have yet to embrace a strict diet of iceberg lettuce and water.  Then this: In an unprovoked fit of rage, my delicate rose of a daughter threatened Paul with, "I'm going to kill you with boo-boos! " Probably, he was trying to change her diaper. Or give her dessert. Toddlers never make sense.  This morning: Ingrid struts into the bathroom with all the pomp that her 2-year-old self can muster. "Hey mommy. Remember me? I'm Ingrid." "Um, yes. I remember you. You're...